


A Gentleman Never Reveals His Weaknesses

by tamarieladoness



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Eggsy is a Little Shit, Grief/Mourning, Harry loves him for it, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, it's a warning just in case, not everything i could tag is here, otherwise there would be spoilers, this could get angsty though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3628725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamarieladoness/pseuds/tamarieladoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry had never thought of himself as 'shy'. He hadn't blushed since the summer of 1998, which he assured everyone was only the heat, not the (admittedly handsome) man that had winked at him on the train.</p><p>Eggsy, of course, changed this perspective.</p><p>Once he finally realises this, though, everything takes a turn for the worse. Nobody is sure if it will ever be the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caught Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Hartwin fic, so sorry for any mistakes! The rating may change depending on where this story goes. Hope you enjoy! (Also please tell me if there is anything that doesn't make sense or if there are any mistakes. Thanks!)

Harry had never thought of himself as 'shy'. He hadn't blushed since the summer of 1998, which he assured everyone was only the heat, not the (admittedly handsome) man that had winked at him on the train.

Merlin still didn't believe him. Asshole.

Harry had never had any trouble with hiding his emotions, however strong they were, to anybody and at any time. Or so he thought until he saw the way Eggsy looked at him after the little spat in the bar.

The look of complete and utter shock mixed with a strangely unreadable emotion (Admiration? Wonder? He wasn't quite sure) had suddenly made Harry feel extremely self conscious.

He wasn't sure what had come over him. It had taken almost all of his will power to sit back down and act like he was unaffected. He had even had to hide behind his beer glass to cover the blush rising to his cheeks.

And it kept happening. Whenever Eggsy said anything that could be considered praise, Harry could feel the flush creeping up his neck. He had to turn his head away on multiple occasions to hide it.

But he couldn't help it. He was so unused to feeling admired and Eggsy's unrestrained delight at anything new Harry showed him was almost too much to take.

Merlin, of course, noticed almost immediately. He was Harry's oldest friend. Obviously, he had taken it upon himself to tease Harry mercilessly about his so called 'crush' on their newest member. It was not fun. At all.

Apparently, it was Merlin's new mission to make Harry blush as many times as possible in front of Eggsy by whispering a multitude of crude jokes into his earpiece, always at the points where Harry and Eggsy were squished into a wardrobe trying to hide from a couple of well trained bodyguards.

Luckily, the darkness made it impossible for Eggsy to see how red Harry's face was.

Unluckily, Harry was still pushed against Eggsy while hundreds of thoughts were running through his mind about how handsome Eggsy had looked in the new suit he was given.

He could hear Merlin laughing in his earpiece and from the other sound of slightly higher pitched laughter he was almost certain that Lancelot was there laughing with him.

They were both going to be so dead when Harry got back. Not literally, of course, they couldn't have any more deaths in the Kingsmen, not after Eggsy had (rightfully) killed the previous Arthur and Harry's almost-death had scared the shit out of everyone.

Right now, though, Harry was more concerned with the fact that the wardrobe was open, and outside lay two bodies with Eggsy standing triumphantly over them, gun in hand and a smug grin on his face. Harry was still standing against the back wall of the wardrobe, of course.

He was frozen, his shell shocked gaze caught by Eggsy's eager one. After a while the smug grin slowly slipped off Eggsy's face to be replaced by a sort of confused frown, and Harry suddenly realised that he had been staring at Eggsy for about a minute. 

Unfortunately, this meant that colour was starting to blossom on his cheeks, and he could feel the hot flush spreading across his face and neck. Eggsy smirked at him, all too knowingly, and took off towards the target's office, leaving Harry to climb awkwardly out of the wardrobe and hurry after him. Eggsy had obviously taken a shortcut up the stairs, putting his gymnastic skills to good use, but Harry was not in his 20s anymore, and so resigned himself to taking two steps at a time instead. Not that it made much difference, Eggsy was most likely already there.

When he got to the office, Eggsy was already there, gun pointed levelly at Alana Montoya's head. Both heads turned quickly towards him and though Alana's eyes flicked between them both, Eggsy's remained firmly locked onto Harry's, even as Harry began to walk around the office. It was a mess. Papers were strewn across the floor, blood spattered across most of them. Both Eggsy and Alana were breathing heavily and Eggsy's arm was  bleeding rather rapidly. 

Due to the knife clutched in Alana's hand, the dark bruise across her left cheekbone and the blood dripping down from a deep gash over her eye it had not been as simple as expected. Although it never really has been very simple. Harry made his way over to the desk where they both stood and looked pointedly at Alana, daring her to make a move. Wisely, she did not. He turned back to Eggsy.

Harry nodded once, sharply, but before Eggsy could pull the trigger the doors burst open and all Harry could hear were gunshots and someone screaming his name before the world turned to black.

 


	2. The Only One I Know

 

_Eggsy gun Alana pain gun pain pain pain Eggsy Eggsy EGGSY_

  
White bursts of light pulsed behind his eyelids and pain cut through his body like a knife, sharp, deadly, uncontrollable. He couldn't think, couldn't _breathe_ , could only feel pain and a strange sort of fear that he _knew_ was not for him, but the cause he could not remember.

He could only remember flashes- a fight, some sort of shop- a tailors? And then a man. A young man, early twenties, he guessed. While the other memories and images were blurred, mere colours and lights, nothing more- this one young man was clear. Every detail was vibrant, and he could see this man as clear as day while the rest of his mind felt fuzzy, unreadable. Like it was blocked, or something was stopping him from seeing what had happened. But the man remained lodged in his mind like a beacon.

Suddenly he could hear a voice, someone speaking loudly to him and beeping sounds coming from somewhere next to him. Eyes opening, he could make out a man standing over him, eyes flickering over his face in concern.

“Harry?”

Harry? What-

_someone screaming his name, a boy- no, a man. The one he remembered. Fear in his voice, despair, anger, pain- Harry- HARRY_

His head _hurt._ It felt hot, burning, and sharp shocks of pain battered against his mind. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to put his hands up to his head but he couldn't, he _couldn't-_

“Harry! Harry! Stop, you'll just hurt yourself more!” The man was still standing over him, but now he was clutching at his face to prevent him from moving.

“Where-” His voice came out in a small gasp of pain, his throat raw. “Where am I?”

“You're safe, Harry, you're in the medical ward.”

“Me- Medical ward? What happened?”

“Don't you remember?”

“Remember what? Who are you? Have we met before?”

The man's face drained of all colour.

“Harry...” The man turned away slowly and walked over to some sort of high-tech computer system, starting to talk rapidly to someone through his earpiece. It was a while before they finished, the man getting more and more agitated the longer their conversation went on. Once it had finished, though, the man walked to stand again at the side of the bed.

“I'm so sorry, Harry.” He felt something sharp against his neck but before he could reply his head started to feel fuzzy and his eyes started to close of their own accord. He struggled, trying to get his arms to move but they would not cooperate- none of his body would, he was drowning, falling, he couldn't move- he was trapped. Darkness started to creep up behind his eyelids and he felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep, still hearing the man whispering apology after apology, still calling him 'Harry'.

  
***********

  
_**amnesia** _

_amˈniːzɪə/_

_noun_

  1. _a partial or total loss of memory._




 

Harry. He knew now that was his name- Harry Hart. But that was all. Nothing about 'Merlin' or 'Kingsmen' or anything like that- just his name. And what that man in his memories looked like. He couldn't hear his voice, couldn't see where he was or what he was doing- he wasn't even in that many memories- but he was there. Constantly.

Harry didn't know why he was there. He couldn't remember anyone else, just that one man, and he wanted to know _why_. Why this one person, who has been in his life for almost no time according to the few memories he was in, why was this one man the only person to be important enough to be remembered even when everything else was gone. Even when everything else was wiped clean, leaving only the remains of his past behind. It made very little sense. But he must have meant a lot to Harry. He must _mean_ a lot to Harry. Enough to keep him there while Harry has yet to hear his voice or even meet him, though he must have met him before.

The same with the other man, Merlin. The one from the medical ward. He sat with Harry, talking to him about his condition, his amnesia, and how it might not ever go away. But Merlin had said something, something about the fact that even one thing could jolt his memory, could bring everything flooding back. An object, maybe. Or something someone does. A small thing, a flick of a wrist, a smile, a laugh. Anything, really. Harry was sure that that man was the one who could do it. But he was never there. He had not come. He obviously meant more to Harry than Harry did to him.

 

He came in the next day. Fate had obviously played a part.

 

Harry was sitting up on the bed, reading _Pride and Prejudice,_ a book Merlin had given to him to read. Silently, that was how the man entered. Without a sound. Not until he let out a small gasp, that is. When Harry looked up the man's eyes were locked on his and suddenly Harry had a strange feeling of recognition. It took him a while to put the pieces together but before he had the man had reached his bedside, the same pained, shocked expression on his face as when he had entered.

“I know you.”

This man was different. The man in his mind, the man he remembered, was bright, vibrant, cheeky- his face spoke volumes. But this man, this man was haggard. Exhausted. Bloodshot eyes had lost all excitement and he seemed _less._ Less of the man Harry remembered.

“I know you.” He repeated, still unsure. The man let out a whimper, and his eyes were full of such dismay, such despair, that Harry was taken aback by the sheer force of the emotion.

“It's me, Eggsy. Your Eggsy.”

That voice. That voice had been the one-

_a gun pointed to a head- her head, Eggsy holding it. The room- dark, lit by lamplight, blood spattered across the floor. Eggsy's arm, face, the woman's cheek, leg, head, face- dark with blood. He didn't notice before- why didn't he notice? Hurt, Eggsy was hurt- badly. That hurt him, hurt him, fear in his heart- the doors opened, no, they can't be- gunshot pain anger fear pain pain Eggsy Eggsy EGGSY-_

 

_Eggsy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [UPDATE] 30th June 2015  
> Good news! My exams are done, and I have now planned out the remainder of this fic! Tomorrow is when I am marathoning LOTR (I'm so excited) so will start to write again soon after that. Sorry if the wait was long, but hopefully you aren't too mad? *puppy dog eyes*  
> I will keep you updated!


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